Why does a man become verbally abusive

In fact, I know many people who have had emotional abuse as a part of their lives and have chosen not to bring those behaviours forward into future relationships. They can see the damage that emotional abuse causes and they successfully keep it out of their lives. There are many reasons individuals have low self-esteem. Most of them never become abusers, but some do. The negative thoughts that come through reflection are painful. One of the many ways to avoid thinking about oneself is to find fault in others and to create arguments.

Doing so keeps the focus outside of oneself. Thus, abuse and all its associated volatility is self-serving. People who feel worthless and unappreciated will sometimes resort to bullying tactics to get others to acknowledge their worth. To the extreme, this can evolve into emotional abuse whereby the perpetrator is trying to force the victim into acknowledge his or her superiority. Some abusive individuals have a low emotional IQ. For whatever reason, their age does not reflect their ability to think, feel, and behave in a responsible and reasonable way.

Abuse as a tonic for low self-esteem is doomed to fail. An abuser is feared, not loved. Such a relationship with others can only lead to failed relationships, lack of intimacy, and avoidance. Rather, they are unwell individuals that need medical help. However, since some of you are trying to sort out why you are being emotionally abused, I have included this category as part of the explanation. There are numerous personality disorders that express themselves with extremely aggressive and insensitive behaviors.

Some examples of such disorders include narcissistic personality disorder, bipolar disorder which is actually a mood disorder , and borderline personality disorder. Living with these individuals often means living in terror, especially when the underlying disorder is left untreated. Due to their genetic constitution, some individuals find it difficult to resist their impulses.

As a result, they often overwhelm, and even crush, their partners. People with genetic predispositions for aggressive and abusive behaviour are not intentionally abusive, but there are appropriate therapies and medical treatments to help them learn to restrain themselves and act in a more socially acceptable way. Taking the necessary steps to eliminate negative behaviour can help to keep them accountable.

Someone who would otherwise be reasonably mannered might reveal their abusive side when alcohol or drugs enter the picture. Although these individuals might claim that the substances are the cause of the abuse, there is no excuse for their behavior.

If someone chooses to use drugs or alcohol and others have told him or her that their intoxication brings out abusive behaviour, it is now their responsibility to stop. Refusing to kick the habit means that they must be held accountable and correctly labeled as abusive, as anyone without the consumption of substances would be.

Knowing why things happen will help you to figure out an appropriate response. Abuse is serious and, unfortunately, many people have actually lost their lives at the hands of their abuser. Even if your physical safety is not at stake, your emotional health is at stake. Learn more about emotional abuse and come up with a plan to either change your situation or exit the relationship.

Nobody should have to live with abuse in any form that should not be the price that is paid to maintain a relationship. Professional help is available and comes in many forms. As you learn more about emotional abuse, you will understand more clearly the exact type of help that will be most helpful to you. If you need outside help, reach out so that others can assist you. It is important to know that emotional abusers can change. Obtaining custody of children is always challenging for fathers, but even if you are confident that you can do so, you may still feel overwhelmed at the prospect of raising them alone.

Domestic violence and abuse can have a serious physical and psychological impact. The first step to protecting yourself and stopping the abuse is to reach out. Talk to a friend, family member, or someone else you trust, or call a domestic violence helpline. You are not to blame, and you are not weak. As well as offering a sense of relief and providing some much-needed support, sharing details of your abuse can also be the first step in building a case against your abuser.

Leave if possible. Be aware of any signs that may trigger a violent response from your partner and be ready to leave quickly. If you need to stay to protect your children, call emergency services. The police have an obligation to protect you, just as they do for a female victim.

Never retaliate. An abusive partner may try to provoke you into retaliating or using force to escape the situation. Get evidence of the abuse. Report all incidents to the police and get a copy of each police report. Keep a journal of all abuse with a clear record of dates, times, and any witnesses. Include a photographic record of your injuries and make sure your doctor or hospital also documents your injuries. Keep a mobile phone, evidence of the abuse, and other important documents close at hand.

It may be safer to keep these items outside of the home. Obtain advice from a domestic violence program or legal aid resource about getting a restraining order or order of protection against your partner and, if necessary, seeking temporary custody of your children. Support from family and friends as well as counseling, therapy , and support groups for domestic abuse survivors can help you move on from an abusive relationship.

You may struggle with upsetting emotions or feel numb, disconnected, and unable to trust other people. Why Do Women Verbally Abuse? See Effects of Verbal Abuse on Children, Women and Men We know that some verbally abusive men and women do have a mental disorder, but the percentage of abusers with mental disorders is the same as the non-abuser population. Brown, M. Not her. There is a difference between making an excuse for someone's behavior and understanding what is behind it.

Related Articles. What Is Verbal Abuse? Articles on Verbal Abuse. Types of Domestic Violence, Domestic Abuse. Child Abuse Statistics and Facts.